21st December 2014
I barely know my brother. I know he has a wife and 2 children, but I have no idea if he’s happy or what is important to him, I never did, he never gave anything away. Maybe he learnt that from me. I met his family once, the last time I went home for Christmas, 4 years ago, the children were too young to understand who I was, and I’m sure my brother and his wife probably figured their Aunt was always going to be largely absent from their lives anyway, so no point letting them get close to me. But still every year I get a Christmas card from them and an invitation to visit, whether out of duty or genuine concern I couldn’t say. It arrived today and for some reason this time it made me cry. I realised there’s no point now.