19th June 2011

You know the internet makes it even easier to be invisible J.?  You can pretend to be whoever you want to be, create whatever construct you want to pass off as your life and personality, and then erase it all with just a few clicks.  I think you would hate it, but who knows?  I would have said the same thing about me until I got sucked in, at least for a while.  I started with a Facebook page, I don’t know why I agreed to it, but one of the girls at work set it up for me, so before I knew it I was checking for new messages and friend requests every day.  For a few minutes at first, and then whole evenings would pass by finding pages dedicated to artists, musicians or films I liked (or the ones I wanted people to believe I liked anyway) and placing them in some kind of order on my page. Before you know it you are buying things you don’t want or need, telling personal details to total strangers, and arguing on a forum with a kid from Utah about why David Lynch is not a pretentious douchebag.  After about 6 months I woke up one morning and just felt sick to my stomach with the whole thing and deleted my page – boy, that felt so good, to erase myself again.  Me, the disappearer.  Anyway, what I wanted to say was that it seems while I was in this phase I joined a site called Friends Reunited. I had totally forgotten about it, but I guess I was trying to find some trace of you.  Today I had a message through the site from someone I went to school with.  She lives in Philadelphia with her husband and son, and their dog, works for a big department store chain, buying shoes. She included some old photos of us on a school trip to Whitby in North Yorkshire, but it definitely wasn’t me in the photographs, and I don’t recognise her name, so I think she got the wrong person.

 

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